Financial an emotional blackmail/abuse By ex springbok rugby player.
My name is Cornel van Biljon, I am married to a alcoholic, we are married for 14 years and we known each other for 23 years. I never realised how alcoholism would change our lives for the worst.
We have 3 boys, 12 year old, 5 year old and 3 year old. They also have been exposed to his heavy drinking, us fighting, I think you know the story.
I wanted to divorce him 10 years back but he promised to change, went for a few AA meetings and had the implant 3 times already. I begged, I cried, I did everything possible to help him but with no success.
We were all good financially, I have been working for our businesses all my life. Six months back he closed the dealership and took full responsibility for all the accounts witch where all up to date at that point. We now don’t have a medical aid and insurance at the moment like we did have, all the House bonds are behind, the electricity is behind, everything is behind.
I told him in September that I don’t see any future in this marriage, since then he is financially abusing me, forcing me to stay with him or we will lose everything that I have worked hard for while he was sitting in a BAR and making a fool out of me. I am raising the children on my own, the two or three times I had time for myself he accused me of drinking and being a bad mother. My bookkeeper is busy helping me to get the amount of money that he spend on alcohol for the past 5 years. I have proof that he missed 2 of our boys birthdays, he was in the bar on the day of there birthday in a 365 day period he is home less than a third of that.
He is hiding assets from me, the longer I take to try to save what is left for my and my boys the more time he has to hide more assets and abuse me and the boys.
He told me that it is all my fault for our financial crisis because I want to divorce him, he is waiting to see what my plans are before he pays anything. He also said that his attorney advised him to not show any income. I am a close to a nervous breakdown,
Hello Cornel van Biljon,
Thank you for your detailed post, however it is not clear what exactly you want. Yes, you are in an emotionally challenged relationship but how or on the very aspect you would wish to be advised, is not clear. Thank you.