will i have full custody of my child as a single mother?
i am a congolese and my ex boyfriend a nigerian. i dont want to date him anymore but the problem is i am nine months pregnant for him and might be giving birth any moment from now. my ex is really giving me a hard time now. threatening me on few occasions. if i knew i wasnt going to be with him for the rest of my life i shouldn’t be carrying a baby in my womb. i feel held in hostage….i live in cape town and I’m planning to go back to my country and work there or relocate to joburg and move on with my life and get a job there .i told him about that but he told me i shouldn’t plan going anywhere with his baby.his child won’t be raised by a single mother.if i try to relocate i should be ready for war. What can i do in such a case?i have no right to relocate with the baby?
Of course, you have every right to relocate anywhere with your child, within or outside South Africa. However, when it comes to removing any child outside the country, the law requires that the consent of both parents be obtained(whether married or not, divorced or separated). Which means your Ex will be aware of your intention to relocate your child to Congo as his consent in the form of an affidavit would be needed. For now, the child still form part of your body and he (Ex) has no right whatsoever over your unborn child. You can go anywhere you so desire. Threat of harm is a very serious matter, and i think you must report this to the police as quickly as possible. Get a protection order against him.
The thing is that every father MUST maintain his child. This responsibility is non-negotiable. And, you and your child do not have to live under one roof with him for this to happen. Infact, you do not have to live in the same province or country with him. So, when you give birth and strong enough, go to the maintenance court in the area where you will be residing with your child and apply for a maintenance order. You will not need a lawyer because the process is straightforward. Even if he sends money for the child, I will advise strongly that you still have a maintenance order in place. My reason being that should he arbitrarily stops paying at any stage, it becomes a criminal offence and he can be arrested for violating a court order.
Amended by author 27th November 2017, 08:09
The problem, if I’m right, is getting your Ex to give consent to enable your child travel with you. To start with, your child will need a traveling document to leave the country irrespective of the age. And, the Department of Home Afffairs requires the presence of parents during application of passport of a child. So you will have a lot of work to do should he refuses to accompany you to the department. There is a provision which allows a single parent to go to court and apply for the exclusive guardianship of her child. But you must convince the court by giving strong reasons why you do not want the father to be part of the child. If court is convinced then you will be granted sole guardianship meaning you will no longer need his father’s consent in any matter. Sometimes, talking to Ex in the manner he can understand can help solve certain issues. Remember, the absolute fact that cannot be changed is that the child is also his. But think carefully about your options.