Husband violating my boundaries
My husband and I are going through a divorce. We live in separate security estates. The problem is he is consistently showing up at my doorstep without going through security at the main entrance. He has a remote control to give him access to the estate but I have consistently told him he needs to stop doing this, and like everybody else who wishes to come through, have security at the main entrance call me to get permission. He refuses and says that sending me a message means he’s told me of his intention to come through.
The problem however, is that he’s even.come through without even a call or message, which made me feel totally violated.
Over and above this we have shared custody of our child who once let it slip that he hounds her with questions about her weeks with me trying to get as much evidence of perceived bad parenting on my part. Our daughter’s 8 so she doesn’t know these questions, such as what days, if any, she was late for school?
I have since told her that if he asks about what we did everyday, she should ask him to rather ask me.
Since then he’s started showing up unannounced at the school in the mornings. I told him that if he’s going to be at the school during my weeks with our daughter he needs to make me aware and not just rock up unannounced, given my experience where he’s tried to use every minor thing to paint me as an incompetent parent.
He was there again this morning, under the pretence that he was bringing her library bag. I find this unacceptable because not only is he initiating contact with our daughter during my week without having arranged it with me, when the rules are clear that this can only be done with prior arrangement, but he is also being very passive aggressive and feel harassed as I am constantly walking on egg shells wondering where he’ll show up next and what he’ll claim I’ve done wrong.
I’d like to know if this is something I could get our local police involved in, not to have him arrested, but to make him stop?
The Protection from Harassment Act (Act 17 of 2011) addresses harassments behaviours which violate Constitutional rights such as privacy and dignity. It provides remedy in the form of a protection order as it prohibits a person(the harasser) from harassing another (the complainant). If the harasser breaches the very protection order, an offence which is punishable with a fine or a period of imprisonment is committed. As you can see, the Act protects individuals from engaging in harassment behaviours that are detrimental to the protected rights of another by means of a court order.
Procedure: first step is that you go to the Magistrate’s court in the area where you reside and apply. You do not need any lawyer and it is free. The clerk will assist you. Second step, if the protection order is granted and your husband kept invading your privacy, it immediately becomes a criminal offence of which he will be arrested, prosecuted and if found guity he will be suitably sentenced. The result? Criminal record.